May 25, 2011

1st day @ Daycare :(

It's official. Hannah Grace started daycare on Tuesday, May 24. I was too emotional to make this post the day of... in fact, if your wondering how I felt that first morning, you can cancel out the following (normal) reactions:

          - I carried her in with a smile, kissed her good-bye and gleefully went on my way.
          - I took her into class, giggled at all of the cute kids and exclaimed, 
               "Look munchkin, these are your new friends!"
          - I helped her get all settled in and had a nice, thorough conversation with the
               caretakers to ensure a smooth transition, then waved bye to my cutie-pie.

Nope, none of that happened. Not even close. I was in a "this-isn't-really-happening" zombie state, and after I went through a few motions like setting her down, snapping a picture, and passing over the bottles, I left quickly, losing all composure as I stepped out of the classroom door.
And I cried. I cried a lot.

Not because I don't feel that she's safe, but leaving her with people I didn't really know and then knowing I'll have to do so every day for the next five years was an uncontrollably sad feeling. Maternity leave and all of the special, 24/7, mother-daughter time that accompanies it is officially over. 
And that breaks my heart.

Thank goodness Daddy was with me to comfort me and drive me to work. (Also, I'm thankful for whichever random lady hugged me in the parking lot. Sorry I cried on your shirt.) 

I have made some progress since then and have come to accept it that we are, in fact, at this stage. It's mostly acceptable because she has handled it like  a champ. We love picking her up at 5:00 and seeing that beautiful face recognize us and smile. I know she's safe and it will allow her to learn a lot... but I miss our everyday, schedule-free time to love and learn and grow together. 

I just try to remember what a friend told me that afternoon, this is the first of many times when you will be sad because she's growing up, but make sure you see the positive in change too. 

We love you HG, and we're so proud of you already!!

Day 1: HG in her crib (Don't worry, they're adding the "Grace").

Snoozing in the swing when mommy came to see her at lunch.

Her very first report card!

Day 2: Snoozing during my mid-day visit again.. I think I'll change my lunch break time!

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